[ There are still a few human social norms she's trying to understand— despite her appearance and actions, she is still a fox— a spiritkind, which humans easily call demonic. In some ways that's what she is— but it doesn't mean she can't try and understand. She has been, for the last few months that she's been here.
While Samatoki's reactions are amusing at Mitsu, what he says next makes her expression soften and gaze grow troubled. Out of politeness, she's kept herself from glancing into Samatoki's past— that and she doesn't have the same power she does back home, anyway.
She slides closer, tilting her head as she watches him, wondering... She decides to ask him about him, if he's answering. ]
I'm sorry she left you. And your sister... were you very young when it happened?
[ Her fathers would never give up like that— not unless influenced. She has to wonder... ]
I was in high school. [ Headcanon time ] My dad was messed up and had issues. Hurt us all a lot. Mom got fed up and killed him, then herself.
[ There's a pause there, and he looks at his hands. It can't be seen, but he's seen his fair share of blood, too. He talks a big game about killing people, doing it as part of his job. It's not the best job in the world, and Samatoki would be the biggest liar in the world if he said this was what he wanted to do growing up.
He had bigger dreams back then, when he was younger. All that had to stop when his family shrunk. He had to give those dreams up to give Nemu a future. It's unfortunate how her future was formed because of crime and underground dealings since Samatoki joined the yakuza at an early age.
... Does he blame himself? Hell no, but he wishes he could have been the one to kill his father instead. Maybe then, things would be different. His mom wouldn't have—
His hands ball into fists, clenches them twice as his brows furrow. The anger he's feeling is palpable from the aura he gives off, but he's somehow maintaining a straight face. When his red eyes flicker over to meet Kitsuno's, though, it's as if he can turn back time. He's reliving the memory. ]
[ The thought of family hurting each other to get ahead isn't alien to her- though that wasn't the case of her own. Her fathers love her and her brothers immensely, so much that they've defied the lord of the underworld for her. And now he...
She lets her thoughts trail off before she senses how worked up Samatoki is getting, but she doesn't regret asking him. She wonders if he's gotten to tell anyone at all, or if he's been holding it all in... though it's chilling when he looks at her and says that. She's quiet, but-
Her gaze softens after a while and she moves her hands over his, as though hoping he'll be soothed if she does. It's a stray hope, and she wonders how to do it, but after a moment, she lowers her head, lifting his hand between their bodies and holding it for a bit. ]
You were a child. That wasn't something you could ever foresee.
[ And somehow, because of it, Samatoki's personality and the choices he's making seem to make sense. ]
You've had to do things no child should have... all because of selfish choices from those that ought to have protected you.
[ She sighs, moving her face close to gently kiss the back of his hand. ]
But your hands- they aren't a murderer's hands, Samatoki. They're a protector's. You make those around you feel safe. Don't ever lose that.
[ Her words and voice remain soft, but if it can help unburden him, even a little, she wants to be able to do it for him. ]
Especially for those you're doing this for. No one wants to see their protectors forsaking their own happiness, too.
[ She'd be sad if her brothers weren't getting their due happiness, all because they wanted to keep her safe. ]
[ Samatoki isn't necessarily soothed by the action, but it does make him realise that he's sharing a little too much. He's probably making her uncomfortable with such a story. ]
A protector's, huh...
[ He's never considered it that way. Growing up, joining the yakuza and doing what he did to get where he is now, they were done with consent. He knew what he was getting into. Sure, it was to give his sister a better life... but he wouldn't call himself a protector.
Especially after what happened to Nemu. ]
I dunno, Kitsuno. [ He chortles, brows furrowed, but he's forcing himself to smile. ] Anyway, you sure this is what you should be listenin' to on Valentine's Day? C'mon, we should get goin'.
[ That's enough chatter about his stupid life for now. He is on his feet before Kitsuno can even respond. ]
[ She doesn't want him closing up on her, especially if this is something he's held in for so long. Regardless of her naïveté, she's still a princess back home. It's why it's so important for her to listen and learn.
Her hand gives his a squeeze as she stands up with him, her head lowered for a bit. ]
I don't know much about humans beyond what little I've seen at home and what I've encountered here. But when it's coming from you, I— I want to know.
[ She feels a little sheepish admitting that; after all, he has friends who have better understanding, and are better able to help him. But the thought of not being useful grates on her. Especially to someone she calls her friend. And especially to someone she feels the way she does for.
She inhales and exhales before stepping up next to him. ]
Because you're important to me. If all I can do is listen, I'll listen. But if I can give you something at all that helps... I want to. So please... tell me whatever you need to, even if it feels unimportant. I'll listen. And I'll try and help.
[ She smiles weakly. ]
Even a protector needs somewhere to place his burdens, right?
[ Her words are soft, though she ends up chuckling a bit. ]
This is a bit serious, isn't it? Forgive me. I was kept in isolation for so long that it seems I keep forgetting how to "cut loose" as they say here. But... we can't ignore the bad, sometimes. And it's good to unburden our minds of it.
[ She smiles as she looks up, hopeful! ]
How about this? I'll tell you of my burdens if I have any if you keep telling me yours! And we'll work through them together! For our sakes, and for those we want to help!
[ Samatoki stays silent for a while, standing up with Kitsuno by his side. He's listening, just not really sure what to say or how to respond to these things Kitsuno says. It's not that he's closing off on her, or that he's ungrateful for the companionship she brings, but. . . ultimately, it's him who has to do something about his problems, not anyone else.
He's learned to rely on people— he does, of course. That's why he's not against being in teams. That's why it hurt so much when Sasara betrayed him, and then Ichiro. The trust he places in people is almost sacred now, because he still knows how to do it despite all the heartbreaks he's experienced in the past.
These people now, whether it's Mad Trigger Crew, Kitsuno, or the other people whom he's befriended here. They're all important. He trusts them. . . And Kitsuno saying she wants to help. . . maybe he should let these people do that, huh? What Kitsuno offers as an exchange gets him to laugh a little, and he can't help but let go of Kitsuno's hand only so he can pull her in for a hug. ]
[ Ah. She lets out a small surprised sound when she's pulled into a hug, her arms going against his chest as she savours the feeling of being held by Samatoki. She knows- she ought to be more reserved... after all, he is a human, and eventually they'll leave this place. She may never even see him or recall him once she does.
But it's okay to be selfish once in a while, isn't it? Or maybe...
She pauses, pushing her forehead against his chest for a bit, still able to make out his heartbeat this way. Her own fragrance pulses lightly, not letting that thought continue. ]
Then- I suppose I should hug you more often, if it does.
[ She'd do that happily for him. The thought of why makes her feel a tight clench in her chest, but... she doesn't want to let go of it, even if she's sure it won't be returned the same way. But that's why-
That's why she needs to protect him, too. ]
Samatoki, I...
[ She begins, before quickly convincing herself otherwise. Quickly punctuating it with a laugh, she draws her head back to look at him with a bright smile. ]
Let's go get that parfait, and see you win the rap rankings! I'll give you a reward for winning when you do!
[ When he does. She believes in him. Moving to take his hand and thread her fingers with him, she tugs him to get him going! ]
Come on, let's go!
[ If this is the way things will be, then that's how they'll be. Maybe one day she'll be honest with him, but...
Until that time, she's happy things are like this too. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
While Samatoki's reactions are amusing at Mitsu, what he says next makes her expression soften and gaze grow troubled. Out of politeness, she's kept herself from glancing into Samatoki's past— that and she doesn't have the same power she does back home, anyway.
She slides closer, tilting her head as she watches him, wondering... She decides to ask him about him, if he's answering. ]
I'm sorry she left you. And your sister... were you very young when it happened?
[ Her fathers would never give up like that— not unless influenced. She has to wonder... ]
Do you blame yourself, Samatoki? For her choice?
no subject
Headcanon time] My dad was messed up and had issues. Hurt us all a lot. Mom got fed up and killed him, then herself.[ There's a pause there, and he looks at his hands. It can't be seen, but he's seen his fair share of blood, too. He talks a big game about killing people, doing it as part of his job. It's not the best job in the world, and Samatoki would be the biggest liar in the world if he said this was what he wanted to do growing up.
He had bigger dreams back then, when he was younger. All that had to stop when his family shrunk. He had to give those dreams up to give Nemu a future. It's unfortunate how her future was formed because of crime and underground dealings since Samatoki joined the yakuza at an early age.
... Does he blame himself? Hell no, but he wishes he could have been the one to kill his father instead. Maybe then, things would be different. His mom wouldn't have—
His hands ball into fists, clenches them twice as his brows furrow. The anger he's feeling is palpable from the aura he gives off, but he's somehow maintaining a straight face. When his red eyes flicker over to meet Kitsuno's, though, it's as if he can turn back time. He's reliving the memory. ]
I should've done it.
no subject
She lets her thoughts trail off before she senses how worked up Samatoki is getting, but she doesn't regret asking him. She wonders if he's gotten to tell anyone at all, or if he's been holding it all in... though it's chilling when he looks at her and says that. She's quiet, but-
Her gaze softens after a while and she moves her hands over his, as though hoping he'll be soothed if she does. It's a stray hope, and she wonders how to do it, but after a moment, she lowers her head, lifting his hand between their bodies and holding it for a bit. ]
You were a child. That wasn't something you could ever foresee.
[ And somehow, because of it, Samatoki's personality and the choices he's making seem to make sense. ]
You've had to do things no child should have... all because of selfish choices from those that ought to have protected you.
[ She sighs, moving her face close to gently kiss the back of his hand. ]
But your hands- they aren't a murderer's hands, Samatoki. They're a protector's. You make those around you feel safe. Don't ever lose that.
[ Her words and voice remain soft, but if it can help unburden him, even a little, she wants to be able to do it for him. ]
Especially for those you're doing this for. No one wants to see their protectors forsaking their own happiness, too.
[ She'd be sad if her brothers weren't getting their due happiness, all because they wanted to keep her safe. ]
no subject
A protector's, huh...
[ He's never considered it that way. Growing up, joining the yakuza and doing what he did to get where he is now, they were done with consent. He knew what he was getting into. Sure, it was to give his sister a better life... but he wouldn't call himself a protector.
Especially after what happened to Nemu. ]
I dunno, Kitsuno. [ He chortles, brows furrowed, but he's forcing himself to smile. ] Anyway, you sure this is what you should be listenin' to on Valentine's Day? C'mon, we should get goin'.
[ That's enough chatter about his stupid life for now. He is on his feet before Kitsuno can even respond. ]
no subject
[ She doesn't want him closing up on her, especially if this is something he's held in for so long. Regardless of her naïveté, she's still a princess back home. It's why it's so important for her to listen and learn.
Her hand gives his a squeeze as she stands up with him, her head lowered for a bit. ]
I don't know much about humans beyond what little I've seen at home and what I've encountered here. But when it's coming from you, I— I want to know.
[ She feels a little sheepish admitting that; after all, he has friends who have better understanding, and are better able to help him. But the thought of not being useful grates on her. Especially to someone she calls her friend. And especially to someone she feels the way she does for.
She inhales and exhales before stepping up next to him. ]
Because you're important to me. If all I can do is listen, I'll listen. But if I can give you something at all that helps... I want to. So please... tell me whatever you need to, even if it feels unimportant. I'll listen. And I'll try and help.
[ She smiles weakly. ]
Even a protector needs somewhere to place his burdens, right?
[ Her words are soft, though she ends up chuckling a bit. ]
This is a bit serious, isn't it? Forgive me. I was kept in isolation for so long that it seems I keep forgetting how to "cut loose" as they say here. But... we can't ignore the bad, sometimes. And it's good to unburden our minds of it.
[ She smiles as she looks up, hopeful! ]
How about this? I'll tell you of my burdens if I have any if you keep telling me yours! And we'll work through them together! For our sakes, and for those we want to help!
no subject
He's learned to rely on people— he does, of course. That's why he's not against being in teams. That's why it hurt so much when Sasara betrayed him, and then Ichiro. The trust he places in people is almost sacred now, because he still knows how to do it despite all the heartbreaks he's experienced in the past.
These people now, whether it's Mad Trigger Crew, Kitsuno, or the other people whom he's befriended here. They're all important. He trusts them. . . And Kitsuno saying she wants to help. . . maybe he should let these people do that, huh? What Kitsuno offers as an exchange gets him to laugh a little, and he can't help but let go of Kitsuno's hand only so he can pull her in for a hug. ]
... This is enough for me. Thanks, Kitsuno.
no subject
But it's okay to be selfish once in a while, isn't it? Or maybe...
She pauses, pushing her forehead against his chest for a bit, still able to make out his heartbeat this way. Her own fragrance pulses lightly, not letting that thought continue. ]
Then- I suppose I should hug you more often, if it does.
[ She'd do that happily for him. The thought of why makes her feel a tight clench in her chest, but... she doesn't want to let go of it, even if she's sure it won't be returned the same way. But that's why-
That's why she needs to protect him, too. ]
Samatoki, I...
[ She begins, before quickly convincing herself otherwise. Quickly punctuating it with a laugh, she draws her head back to look at him with a bright smile. ]
Let's go get that parfait, and see you win the rap rankings! I'll give you a reward for winning when you do!
[ When he does. She believes in him. Moving to take his hand and thread her fingers with him, she tugs him to get him going! ]
Come on, let's go!
[ If this is the way things will be, then that's how they'll be. Maybe one day she'll be honest with him, but...
Until that time, she's happy things are like this too. ]