[Weirdly enough he can actually imagine that. The Shogunate back home would do something like that to entertain the Amanto, having been little more than a puppet government ever since they arrived.]
If that was just for men, what did they make the women do?
[He braces for some nasty stuff. He knows how women get treated when the wrong people are in power.]
[He says it without any snark or schadenfreude. Honestly, if the women back home took over the government and made the men fight and humiliate themselves he wouldn't be able to blame them, much as he wouldn't like being on the receiving end of it.]
It's unfair, is what it is. People aren't toys, an' everyone should be equal. Not just— [ He gets up from his seat, beads of sweat dripping on the floor as he paces around the sauna. ]
["-- are sadistic bitches",he wanted to say, but then Samatoki starts his rage-fueled squats. Is that a challenge?! It looks like a challenge. But no, no, Hijikata isn't an idiot! He's going to sit here and sweat and watch Samatoki exhaust himself. He'll get his year pass.]
[ Wrong thing to do, because he's just getting worked up all the more! And he's feeling a little lightheaded now. He stops and shoves HIjikata back down, but weakly, of course. He doesn't have much strength in him left. ]
[They sure are, like mature adults who are also smart and conscious of their health. They're just rolling around and yelling, trying to pin each other. Hijikata is definitely pulling on Samatoki's stupid white hair. People outside are starting to cast worried looks at the noisy sauna... actually haven't those two antagonistic guys been in there for a damn long time by now, some of them may wonder. Well, clearly they're still alive. For now.]
[ Lots of rumbling from inside this sauna booth, definitely... Samatoki's pulling on Hijikata's hair, too, like second grader. This is all fun and games, folks!
Until it isn't and it's become too hot to even breathe. The two of them actually separate, at least. Samatoki can barely get up anymore so he's just on the floor, eyes about to close. ]
["Shit" is right. Hijikata's chest is heaving, struggling to breathe in the heat that he made worse like a total moron. He half-crawls over to the bench and slumps on the floor with his head laid down on the seat. It's only for a moment until his head stops spinning, he tells himself.]
[When he and Samatoki wake up later they'll have been dragged out by fellow bathhouse visitors who got concerned when the sauna fell eerily quiet and put on lounge chairs in separate sections of the bath by staff members. Each of them will be lectured and made to drink several glasses of water to get rehydrated, and they'll only let them leave one after the other, downright monitoring the entrance to ensure the first one is gone before they'll let the second one go shower and get dressed.]
[As Hijikata walks home (very slowly since he's still dizzy) he can't even feel mad about not having won the year pass. Samatoki may be a pain in the ass, but he put on a good show of endurance, and Hijikata can respect that. Also at least he didn't end up having to pay for his drinks - who knows how much of a heavyweight drinker the guy may be? - or vote for his rap band... although he is admittedly curious now. On the day of the event he may just have to slip in and see what this is really all about.]
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[Weirdly enough he can actually imagine that. The Shogunate back home would do something like that to entertain the Amanto, having been little more than a puppet government ever since they arrived.]
If that was just for men, what did they make the women do?
[He braces for some nasty stuff. He knows how women get treated when the wrong people are in power.]
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[ Not all women, but... hopefully Hijikata gets the picture.
He begins to talk a little slowly now because of the heat. ]
Men fight an' let themselves get fucked up and women watch and have fun with it.
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[He says it without any snark or schadenfreude. Honestly, if the women back home took over the government and made the men fight and humiliate themselves he wouldn't be able to blame them, much as he wouldn't like being on the receiving end of it.]
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[ That doesn't sit well with him. ]
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[Wait, that makes it sound like he's from Mad Max.]
Okay, "usually" is too much said. But the ratios look pretty shitty.
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AAAHHH!
[ HE'S SO PISSED HE'S GONNA DO SQUATS ]
1/3
["-- are sadistic bitches",he wanted to say, but then Samatoki starts his rage-fueled squats. Is that a challenge?! It looks like a challenge. But no, no, Hijikata isn't an idiot! He's going to sit here and sweat and watch Samatoki exhaust himself. He'll get his year pass.]
2/3
3/3
What, you think you're so tough?! You think I can't keep up?!
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[ He's just trying to win, man! ]
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[Damn it, he's getting dizzy. But there's no way he'll quit before Samatoki!]
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[ Wrong thing to do, because he's just getting worked up all the more! And he's feeling a little lightheaded now. He stops and shoves HIjikata back down, but weakly, of course. He doesn't have much strength in him left. ]
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[He grabs Samatoki's ankle and tries to pull his leg out under him. That'll teach him!]
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[ fdsakglh Samatoki's going to push Hijikata down until they're wrestling on the sauna's floor, then... ]
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[They sure are, like mature adults who are also smart and conscious of their health. They're just rolling around and yelling, trying to pin each other. Hijikata is definitely pulling on Samatoki's stupid white hair. People outside are starting to cast worried looks at the noisy sauna... actually haven't those two antagonistic guys been in there for a damn long time by now, some of them may wonder. Well, clearly they're still alive. For now.]
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[ Lots of rumbling from inside this sauna booth, definitely... Samatoki's pulling on Hijikata's hair, too, like second grader. This is all fun and games, folks!
Until it isn't and it's become too hot to even breathe. The two of them actually separate, at least. Samatoki can barely get up anymore so he's just on the floor, eyes about to close. ]
Shit...
1/2
2/2
[As Hijikata walks home (very slowly since he's still dizzy) he can't even feel mad about not having won the year pass. Samatoki may be a pain in the ass, but he put on a good show of endurance, and Hijikata can respect that. Also at least he didn't end up having to pay for his drinks - who knows how much of a heavyweight drinker the guy may be? - or vote for his rap band... although he is admittedly curious now. On the day of the event he may just have to slip in and see what this is really all about.]